Against nature

It’s been a month since 2014 begins; yet we’re close to another new beginning — year of the horse. All these don’t mean much to me. Life sucks anyway: work is busy but unrewarding, my everyday life lacks excitement, … These are just a few of the many setbacks in my life for the past few months. Steve Jobs said if life sucks too many days in a row, it’s time to change something. I think it’s a reasonable time for me to change something now. What should that be?

There was a time when I talked about my boring life with a friend, and got some useful feedback: if you find your life too dull, you either do something more interesting, or adapt to it. You don’t need to accept boredom; instead you should look for those interesting moments out of an otherwise boring life and intensify them. It could be a nice cup of coffee at a so-so restaurant, a pretentious photo you’re able to take at an ordinary place you visit every day (I’m sure the word “pretentious” didn’t come from that friend’s mouth), or even just a “thanks” from a new patient.

Of course, those things are easier said than done. I heard that advice like two or three years ago, but I’m still constantly affected by my mood swings. Worse, I don’t even have the energy to find those extraordinary moments after work. You’ll be surprised how early I go to bed nowadays. I used to go to bed at 2-3 am; now I sleep at 10:30pm. This is against the nature (of K.Chan), but it’s true. I’m officially fucked up.

“A pretentious photo you’re able to take at an ordinary place you visit every day”

Lost focus

Once again I’ve lost focus in life. I’m not in particular determined to study, nor am I interested in indulging myself in other interests, such as photography, blogging, and so on. I feel like a machine, going to work routinely, and punctually, every day, doing the same kind of dutiful things which often are of low return, and when I get home, I get dead tired and go to bed early.

That’s not the typical stylish life K.Chan used to live. In the old days, K.Chan also got up early and go to school on time, but when school finished, he’d go to a Starbucks to enjoy an evening sip of coffee, sometimes reading a dental article, sometimes working on materials for an English tuition he was about to give, and sometimes just meditating. And when he was back to where he lived, he never went to bed early. He poured himself a small glass of wine and thought things. Not until 2-3 am would he finally get tired and go to bed. That’s how one should consume life.

And even if work confines one’s lifestyle, such that one needs to behave like a machine, one should choose to work like a beautiful old Leica camera — to execute things with aesthetic, precision and proficiency. But now, the way that I work, the life that I live, is no different from a crappy, poorly made Pentax Chinese point-and-shoot.

So, my focus is lost; my pride is in jeopardy. But perhaps I shouldn’t feel too upset, because in photography while most of the time we really want razor-sharp focus, sometimes it is the out of focus area, the bokeh, that truly appeals to others. And yes, a beautiful old Leica camera doesn’t have auto focus. You have to focus manually. The same applies in life too. If you’ve lost focus, you refocus for yourself.

Coffee mania

If you don’t know about my craze for coffee, you don’t know K.Chan at all. Since a very long time ago I’ve developed a dependence on coffee. That dependence was initially for waking myself up, thanks to the busy schedule and homework of an average high school student in HK. That dependence soon transformed into one as a medium to mingle with friends. I bet no LaSallian would say they don’t have an emotional attachment to the (old) PCC at Festival Walk. Remember our good old says at the (two) large PCC(s), one being the shop now occupied by Vivienne Westwood, the other being the size of IT plus HSBC SMB centre?

As I grew up the function of coffee had once again changed from being social back to being personal — for calming myself. Yes, studies say the scent of coffee could trigger release of endorphine which somehow calms us down and gives the feeling of happiness. (Don’t ask me how. I’m a dentist, not a doctor.) And now every time I’ve finished a third molar surgery, I drink one cup of coffee as a reward for my good work.

And as work gets more busy, the function of coffee goes back to the basic — to keep myself awake. Yes, I had been very enthusiastic about work during my first year as a dentist. But as things become a routine, and there are little excitement in life, I get more and more tired both physically and emotionally each day. So I drink a lot coffee to stimulate my mood.

But the thing is, do I need to keep myself so awake?

I’ve hit a number of setbacks in work lately. People and policy have changed. Sometimes, I just wish I was back in the good old days, when I was still fresh and keen on exploring everything. Put it simply, I badly need some excitement in life. How to I find some?

Written on my iPhone 

Recap of 2013

Year 2013 is approaching an end, and it’s time to recap our good memories this year. I’ve decided to summarize some of my important quotes for this year.

Most restaurants have vegetarian choices, so it makes perfect sense to have dishes for carnivores at veggie restaurants. — Nov 2013

I’m a curious person – so curious many cats got killed. — Aug 2013

我喺地鐵從來唔讓座 — 或者你可以話我從來都讓座 — 因為我從來都唔坐。 — Aug 2013

By resetting a router digital immigrants already conceive you as an IT expert. — July 2013

每次做完MOS, 都有想抽一口事後煙的衝動。 — Jan 2013

And finally, my favourite:

Those who fail to see the gap should die from natural selection. — July 2013

The art of taking breaks

I’ve got rather bored of work lately — long hours, few patients, repetitive life, … That’s why I decided to take a few days off. Actually, that wasn’t a very long holiday — just three days, but that’d be enough to recharge myself, hopefully.

And it was. I did nothing on Thursday, went to the countryside on Friday, and visited the museum on Saturday. The thing is, I found that I don’t have to go away from this city to recharge myself. I just have to forget about work, forget about being in the suffocating city, and forget about my repetitive life, then I’ll feel good about myself.

What is my “art of taking breaks” then? Well, it wouldn’t be art if we don’t literally have some art, so I decided to see a contemporary art exhibition at MoA that I’ve longed for. As always, my own site gets exclusive pictures. Here you go.

http://www.facebook.com/artmaphkcaa

Comments on tech

I think I’ve said multiple times that I don’t comment on tech. But guess what? Amid all those adverse “news” against Apple, especially among the Chinese media, I’d like to talk a bit about tech today.

The Hong Kong media seems to be advocating a wrong concept that Apple is on its decline; that the iPhone 5s isn’t selling well because black market price doesn’t match that of the iPhone 5; no one is buying the iPad Air because it isn’t innovative.

But guess what? The fact is the contrary. Ask anyone who has got his hands on the new iPad Air, and you’ll get positive comments like “it’s extremely well built, unlike any iPads Apple has ever created”. And on the black market price? First of all trading iPhones on the black market isn’t right. Why on earth would anyone sell these lovely devices that are milestones of human civilization to people on mainland China who have no taste at all? And, the fact that price is governed by two factors — supply and demand — must not be forgotten. Why can’t the fall of black market price, and even the improved availability of the 5s from Apple be attributed to a matured supply chain thanks to its predessor, the iPhone 5, which essentially has the same industrial design, being already manufactured for a whole year? The fact that we get unprofessional and erroneous reports from journalists further mark the fact that #thiscityisdying.

No, I’m not a fanboy. I’m just a down-to-earth person who embraces the best technology available. For the past decade, and in the foreseeable future, the best technology (hardware and software integration) comes from Apple. Google deserves some credit for its excellent services. And Microsoft? It deserves a spot in hell. But if some day, Apple is no longer at the forefront of tech innovations, I’ll in no doubt say goodbye to Apple.

Written on my iPad

Who are my heroes? (1)

I’ve often wondered who my heroes might be in my ordinary life. I mean, I’m just an ordinary person working as a dentist, and I have little special interests. But thinking seriously I do have some. Let’s go over them one by one. I’ve learnt one thing though: to make a blog or newspaper column or whatever close to that sustainable, never write one long piece and then idle your platform for weeks. Split what you want to say and post them as a series. That’s exactly what I’m doing now.

First let’s define what a “hero” means to an ordinary person. A hero in a disaster movie, in short, is one who saves lives. So are heroes in our every day lives. Heroes save us from our boring routine. They change things, and by doing so our lives are enriched.

Steve Jobs is one great example. You may easily refer to his creations like iPhone, iPad and the Mac, or go further to the whole digital lifestyle he shaped. Yes, those are some examples how Steve enriched our lives. But there’s much more than that why Steve Jobs is a hero.

For one, Steve Jobs was “cross-platform”. Although Apple softwares and hardwares, and even its services, were not exactly cross-platform, Steve Jobs himself was. He’s interested in tech, and he had exposure in arts and music. It was this combination that inspired him to create such products as iPods and iPhones that could integrate deeply with our daily lives.

Second, Steve had OCD. He paid great attention to details. This character might have been inherited from his adoptive father, Paul. In his biography, it was mentioned that Paul Jobs refused to use poor wood for the back of cabinets, or to build a fence that wasn’t constructed as well on the back side as it was the front. Steve brought that love of details to the design and manufacturing process of Apple products. In my own work this level of care is also important. Our big boss at HH always says doing 10 per cent better at one thing may not be significant, but if you do 10 per cent better at everything, 1.1 x 1.1 x 1.1… is huge, and our patients would notice the difference. He may be a layman and doesn’t know much about Dentistry, but his words sometimes make sense.

One more. Steve had blemishes in his life. Yes, heroes make mistakes too. His greatest mistake was probably his delay for treatment of his pancreatic cancer. When he was first diagnosed with cancer, his doctor told him it was a curable form of pancreatic cancer. For unknown reasons Steve decided against having surgery, and resorted to some absurd herbal medicine before he finally did the surgery nine months later. Had he got that surgery sooner, his cancer might not have metastasized and he could go on and on to revolutionize industries, one at a time. The message of this story is that heroes make (literally) fatal mistakes too. When we make mistakes, just take it easy, and try to remedy our wrongdoings. In case there is no antidote to our mistakes, try to do other good things. In Steve’s case, he accelerated development of the iPad after his second surgery, the liver transplant, and formally declared the coming of the post-PC era in 2010.

[TBC]

Life and Death

Life and death. These are the last thing that a dentist deals with in his everyday practice. But we do encounter some every once in a while.

About half a year ago, a patient came in complaining about gum swelling and swollen lymph node. Although the clinical presentation did not conform with routine dental problems, we were taught to apply the routine management first because common diseases are far more prevalent than rarer ones. I reviewed the patient twice in two consecutive weeks, but the lymph node swelling did not resolve, so I decided to refer the patient to a hospital for further check up.

The patient came back today for dental check up. He wore a mask, which isn’t common for dental patients unless they’ve a fractured incisor, so I asked what happened. It turned out he was diagnosed to have acute lymphoma (a type of cancer) in June, and is on chemotherapy now. The mask is to prevent infection since he has compromised immunity during chemotherapy. He said he didn’t go to the hospital right after my referral, but two months later he had lymph node swelling in other areas, so he went to have a check up, and the diagnosis was made.

What’s the implication of this story? For one, I feel limited as a dentist. There’re many things that we’ve learnt to do in dental school, but diagnosing cancer is not one of them. Seeing this patient’s misery I can’t help but wonder, could I have done better? What if I insisted that he must seek hospital care sooner? The whole story may become different had we done things differently.

But I think the more important implication of this story is one that is easier said than done: we’ve got to get the job done. When others call you “Doctor”, it represents a trust and delegation of responsibility. We may not know everything, but we’ve got to do the best within the reach of our abilities, yet at the same time be fully aware about what we don’t know and try to improve on those areas. This doesn’t only confine to life and death issues; it also applies on our every day work, like simple fillings, tooth extraction, and the like. Yes, dentistry is not about money. It’s about enriching people’s lives. Let’s do it.

A long journey

September 1, this is the traditional day for a new beginning. New school year, new friends, new schedule, etc.. I’m not in school anymore, but I do have a new schedule and some new colleagues. Yes, for our company Sept 1 every year means seeing newbie dentists anxiously doing many things for the first time. I was exactly in that role last year. And as I saw a new colleague work today, I can’t help but feel grateful how far I have gone through from my starting point, yet at the same time wonder what lies ahead in this endless journey of clinical dentistry.

At the beginning of September 2012, I started working as a dentist. I thought I was well-prepared, but I was not. It took quite some time even to make mistakes, and then to adapt to mistakes, and then to try avoiding mistakes. I remember the thrill of success when I actually helped someone, and the dreadfulness when I was stuck into troubles. And all of a sudden those uncertainties of being new was gone, replaced by getting tired of long working hours and heavy workload. But then when you get your pay cheque, you know your hard work has paid off. Looking back, it really was quite a journey.

And what lies ahead? I don’t know. But I’m glad some qualities of being new has not gone – curiosity, paying attention to the minutest detail, patient-centred (not money-oriented) and scientific treatment planning, I still do those things these days, and I hope I always will.

*   *   *

Speaking of curiosity, I have a new quote for myself lately:

“I’m a curious person – so curious many cats were killed.” Kevin Chan

In retrospect (n+1)

On October 3, 2010 I wrote an entry about Starbucks, and it’s so interesting that it’s worth a revisit. The good news is, gone is that stupid policy. The bad news? It’s getting increasingly difficult to find a table at Starbucks.

October 3, 2010

… But today something even more ridiculous and unheard of happened: I was advised to leave and come again for revision at designated time. Apparently I have never encountered similar incidents at other Starbucks. This really surprised me, and therefore, I was quite upset. I decided to have a conversation with the manager to get to know why they came up with such a policy, and also gave her a 20-minute lecture on how I think Starbucks should treat their customers. Yes, the partner and the manager certainly had a bad day, having chosen to ask the wrong customer to leave, but I also took my own risk – reacting so vigorously in public is certainly not a good option these days, given that I may be videotaped and introduced on Youtube or hkgolden forum. But as a loyal customer to Starbucks, I have the right to enjoy Starbucks’ services, while also have the responsibility to report any problem I find.