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December 13, 2025
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K&C codename buddy

Key to true happiness
October 28, 2010

I'm perhaps the least qualified person to talk about this topic - true happiness, because I don't usually feel happy. Or more precisely, it's not happiness that I don't feel - I'm never content with the present state. Looking at my present situation, I'm not so unlucky. I don't really have family burden; I'll graduate in two years, knowing what I'll be doing afterwards, a job which I don't exactly hate; I have a great girlfriend; what has happened to me isn't so miserable; … I should really feel blessed. Yet, I don't. Small imperfections in life, which, to some, seem nothing at all, turn out to be a big problem to me. I wake up every day, living a hectic life, and may not have the time to think. But when I settle down at night, gloomy thoughts emerge. Those tiny flaws I find are ruining me. They all add up and present to me as big issues, turning what should really be a joyful life pitiful. I'm never satisfied; I just keep asking lots of what-ifs. What if blah blah blah, what if blah blah blah, could my life have been happier?

In fact, the problem I'm presenting here is kind of a breakthrough. I had never realized what drove me into sadness. I just knew I haven't been happy. But now I know. Even the tiniest bit of blemish makes me feel bad. Realizing this, I face an even more serious problem. What if the what-ifs that I ask now are finally fulfilled, the small faults in my life are finally corrected? Will I feel happy then? Or will I find new faults in life, even tinier blemishes that I don't consider problematic at present, and enter a state of eternal sorrow? God, please help me get through all these.

Enjoying life or wasting time?
October 26, 2010

So, it's reading week. Life has become boring again lately. What's worse, I don't find any fun in life. Studying is boring, tutoring is unfulfilling, everything sucks. However, I'm glad that even though my life is boring, it's now more organized than before.

Sometimes, I can't help asking myself: what kind of life is ideal to you, K. Chan? You always complain. A friend (who is a serious L) told me that compared to the sorrows in the third world, my sufferings are nothing. Well, perhaps she's right, but the thing is, because we have better living standards, we should have higher expectations for ourselves. The true meaning of life, as we've learnt in A-Level, is that we should always aim high. After certain fulfilment, we aim at what we can achieve next. Up till now, I had experienced true happiness, albeit only for a short period of time. And I intend to experience that again, in a persistent manner, if not a whole new level of happiness. But what's so sad? Well, I always have to wait, and sometimes, the wait is too long. What about others then? Have I ever envied others' happiness? Well, at certain moments, sure; but those moments were transient, for I have finally realized that what's so happy at the superficial level may not have a solid foundation. Sometimes, others may suffer far more than I do.

Missing the old days
October 23, 2010

It's 5 am on 24th. Staying up till very very late on Friday/Saturday nights has become my routine. Why? It's not that I can't fall asleep, nor that I don't need so much sleep. I do so because I really need some time to reorganize myself, to feel dissatisfied about the present moments and to review those delightful moments in the past. For example, every Saturday, after having a tough time teaching stupid, unattentive kids, I start to miss the old days, the wonderful time I've sent with my previous students. Well, what can be worse than having been to heaven and then go back to hell?

To me, the best way to reorganize my life is to reorganize files on my computer's desktop. Honestly, it's been in a mess since very long time ago, probably for at least two years. Months after months, I've tried to grab some time to fix this, but I can't. I want to reinstall my mac too, but I just don't have the time to make sure everything's backed up. (Note: I say "make sure everything is backed up. Time Machine is supposed to have everything backed up for me, but I need to make sure this really is the case..) Anyway as I try to move those files, interesting things are often found. It'd be nice to share some of them occasionally, so that I can have more new entries here at Anzyme..

Back to the Mac
October 20, 2010

So, I've just watched Apple's live broadcast event. How's it? Well, they talked about Lion, and the new mba. No signs of mbp, which is sad news for me. But I guess that's because if they simultaneously released a new mbp with only subtle upgrade on hardware, and a whole new mba, no one is going to be interested in a new mbp. But I'm still personally optimistic that Apple will give mbps an upgrade before the holiday season, and when that happen I'll finally be able to get a new mac.

One question though: apple is bringing facetime to Mac, why not Windows as well? Eventually they'll do, but I just don't understand why they don't do that now.

四寶丸
October 15, 2010

印象中自己還未寫過關於食物的文章，今日跟「四寶丸」重逢，帶來了這個機會。

四寶丸無錯是旺角的街頭小食，但通常我提四寶丸，都是指位於旺角賣四寶丸的食店。這間食店由我開始逛旺角時已經存在，大概就是我中二、三，即02，03年的時候。當時我久不久放學後會到旺電，而「四寶丸」就在旺電旁邊，賣珍珠奶茶和台式小食。現在已經不記得最初是為了買珍珠奶茶還是四寶丸，估計這問題就像問先有雞還是先有蛋一樣。

當時旺角還沒有甚麼輕鬆飲、貢茶等台式飲品店，就連在街邊的寬頻推銷員都比現在少。「四寶丸」賣的台式飲品五元一杯，要加珍珠就七元，算是相當便宜，顧客亦非常多。大家都圍在店鋪外，看誰先跟賣野呀姐有眼神交流，然後把錢遞過去，說「藍莓綠茶加珍珠，同埋一串辣四寶丸」，呀姐又會極速心算價錢找續，而找續的過程中，呀姐又能一心多用，聽下一個顧客要甚麼。飲品通常一分鐘內一定到手，而且呀姐還能大約認出飲品是誰的，相比現在如貢茶之流的台式飲品店，相當有效率。順帶一提，熟客門通常都能有系統地叫出自己想要的東西，就像去到星巴克，叫 “Iced Grande Caramel Macchiato” 一樣，不需店員再問甚麼。

食物方面，當然以「賣飛佛」四寶丸為首選。四寶丸有蝦丸、墨魚丸、肉丸和牛丸，不要沙爹醬已經好吃，加了沙爹醬就另有一番風味。另外，花枝丸和龍蝦丸加了沙爹醬都非常出色，辣魚蛋做得很好很彈牙，而魚肉燒賣加了秘制咖哩汁是一流的。近年「四寶丸」更有先見之明，在台式腸仔還未流行前已率先引入，賣得還比外面便宜，算是他們回饋顧客的一種態度。

幾年前旺電旁的「四寶丸」不見了，以為它結業了，不禁感到心酸。後來才發現它搬到山東街現址，大家又能繼續享受抵食的台式飲品和小食。不過，現在的「四寶丸」跟以前全盛時期相比，顧客數目已大不如前，估計就是少了貢茶等的捧場客。要強調的是，「四寶丸」的飲品質素並無下降，只是新興飲品店飲品款式較多，而且，「四寶丸」的小食還是很出色的。這間店多年來屹立不倒，其實不無道理。

「四寶丸」多年來伴我成長，是我中學年代的一個重要回憶。入了大學後到旺角的機會少了很多，上次吃四寶丸可能是幾個月，甚至半年前的事了。今天跟「四寶丸」久別重逢，吃的一部分是蝦丸、墨魚丸的味道，但更大部分是中學時期的回憶。看著手上的一串四寶丸，不禁想起一幕幕舊時跟朋友逛旺角、hea、補習的回憶；咬一口四寶丸，以前生活嘗過的甜酸苦辣立即回來了。想起以前讀書時最艱難的日子，捱過了，現在的考驗算不上甚麼；但回想舊時簡單生活帶來的歡樂，錯過了，現在的生活頓時黯然失色。

味道總會隨風而逝，記憶卻歷久常新。

後記：多年來食了無數粒四寶丸，今天想在twitter介紹這間店，到openrice搜尋，才發現自己從來都不知它的正名。找到了，原來「四寶丸」一直用一個低調的名字。現在向大家正式介紹：台式地道美食，地址為旺角山東街40號地下。

http://www.openrice.com/restaurant/sr2.htm?shopid=7941

Day by day
October 13, 2010

Once upon a time, I said having routines in life is a good thing. I'm here to abolish what I've said. Repeating the same thing every week is a pain, especially when you don't find any value in what you're doing. It's a consensus that if we don't think what we're doing is right, we may tolerate it for a period of time; but after that period if we still don't like what we're doing, this may suggest it's time for change. Sadly, I don't know what I should change. I don't dislike Dentistry. I know some of my classmates wake up every day, hating the fact that they have to do Dentistry again, but I'm not those persons. Dentistry sometimes frustrates me, but it gives me lots of satisfaction too, especially after I see my paedo patient. (What?! Kevin, this is not your style..)

So, what is to change? Still no idea. I'd just like to say, I really hate my life. When things are counted separately, they're OK. But when things add up together, they just don't work. And I'm in pain.

PS I know I'm not quite articulated today. Don't you think this entry sucks?

A wasted day-off, sth abt ytd
October 7, 2010

I've wasted another day-off today. Well, ever since year 4 started, day-off has become a luxury, and I'm determined to spend every day-off effectively - whether leisure or rest or study activities are planned. However, I haven't met any success so far. For example, I didn't wake up until nearly 1 pm today. I decided to go to main library, but I haven't done much there. I appreciated what I did eventually - I gave up reading, headed for Central to have pho, alone, and then went to IFC to buy Yo Mama. I was a bit disappointed that there's no dark chocolate flavour after 9.30, and even more disappointed that for the regular flavour I had, it's also crappy. Well, it seems that things aren't so correct today. So I walked along the piers before I went back to hall. And now, my day is officially declared wasted.

* * *
What about yesterday then? Hmm, I thought it'd be a time-wasting day, given that I would have MOS clinic in the morning with C. Yu, and PBL in the afternoon with Tak Chow, and high table in the evening. However, it wasn't so bad after all. Ken Chiu was absent, and Winnie Choi came instead. It wasn't my turn to do MOS yesterday, but watching Winnie Choi teaching made me feel I at least learnt something. However, I was also quite upset because revisiting how it feels being taught by an effective tutor made me realize how ineffective tutors I met in this new semester have wasted my time. Even more regrettably, it's the last MOS session this semester. Who is teaching in sem 2? Well, let's hope there's no one worse than C. Yu.

In the afternoon I had PBL. For unknown reason(s), Tak Chow changed his attitude and conducted the tutorial much more efficiently. We finished at a record-breaking time (relative to Tak Chow's tutorials only) - 3.30. There were no lack of his "spectacular" expressions of thoughts though. But he was right about at least one thing - when we complained that we couldn't even eat at PBL suite, he said, "things will change, after you're qualified!" Yes, they will. They absolutely will.

And in the evening we went to Police Officers' Club for high table. I didn't expect to know anyone at first, but then being a "magazine" I was, albeit not officially, entitled to sit anywhere I wanted. So I sat with friends and had a nice dinner.

So, this is my life. A busy day sucks less than a day-off.

Starbucks at Tai Po :-S
October 3, 2010

So, I went to Starbucks this afternoon. I've always thought the atmosphere at Tai Po's Starbucks is somehow different. The partners' attitude is different, so is the customers'. I think I don't have to repeat that I'm always asked to share a table, which I don't totally mind (and I don't think I'm in the position to mind that either, given that a table with two chairs should indeed accommodate two customers). But today something even more ridiculous and unheard of happened: I was advised to leave and come again for revision at designated time. Apparently I have never encountered similar incidents at other Starbucks. This really surprised me, and therefore, I was quite upset. I decided to have a conversation with the manager to get to know why they came up with such a policy, and also gave her a 20-minute lecture on how I think Starbucks should treat their customers. Yes, the partner and the manager certainly had a bad day, having chosen to ask the wrong customer to leave, but I also took my own risk - reacting so vigorously in public is certainly not a good option these days, given that I may be videotaped and introduced on Youtube or hkgolden forum. But as a loyal customer to Starbucks, I have the right to enjoy Starbucks' services, while also have the responsibility to report any problem I find.

PS There've been (64301-63161) 1140 visits in September, or 38 visits every day. Thanks.